I want to call every sound engineer I've ever had and apologize.
Then, I want to make a series of resolutions for how I will deal with all sound engineers and open mic hosts in the future.
I will always memorize the two people before me, so I won't ever have to ask the sound engineer/host when I'm up.
I will research the club's backline before any and every show I do.
I will promote. Promote. Promote.
I will tip my sound engineer (please don't judge me for not knowing that was a 'thing.')
I will leave my sound engineer alone when he is DOING EFFING SOUND.
I will listen closely to my sound engineer's questions and instructions, to ensure a smooth production from the gate.
I will let my sound engineer judge the levels in the room for himself.
I will never scold an engineer again for any of the following:
- Stray feedback
- Loss of sound onstage resultant of own faulty equipment
- Not paying rapt attention to my set
- Too much bass in my monitor
- Too much treble in my monitor
I will NEVER say the following:
- "Can you make sure my vocals get heard above the mix?"
- "So, a little bit about the band you're about to hear: We are a [name three disparate genres that do not describe our act]."
- "It's very important that [ANYTHING.]"
- "Why is there nobody here?"
- "I have played at B.B. King's twice. Have you done sound at B.B. King's twice?" [TRUE STORY. Someone said that to me.]
- "Audience: What do you think of our sound? Want anything turned up? Down? Just ask the guy in the back."
Seriously, soundpeople -- I am so, so sorry. I must be better. I will be better.